written by Tom Zucco

You, too, can own your own slice of paradise, although admittedly it's a rather small hunk.

A sea gull cries somewhere in the distance. A warm breeze rustles through the palm fronds. The Gulf of Mexico gently laps at your toes.

Yes, friends, all this can be yours. That's right. Waterfront property on beautiful Sunset Beach in Pinellas County. Just south of Treasure Island.

But won't this cost a fortune? Not even close. This spectacular beachfront property can be yours for - are you ready? - not $100,000 or $10,000 or even $5,000. It's available now for the unheard of price of just $49.95. That's right. $49.95. For what it costs to buy a couple of bags of groceries, you can forever own a slice of paradise.

What's the catch? Ha! There is no catch. This is all perfectly legal. You get a deed, all notary documents and some locator maps. Maintenance? It's free. Property taxes? They'll be paid. But wait. As an added bonus, you also get a free Neanthe Bella palm tree as our gift to you. (Warning: Your slice of paradise will be a little on the small side. One square inch to be precise. And it might be under a little, uh, water.)

So don't delay. Own a piece of paradise. Great for birthdays, weddings, any occasion. Buy two and give one to a friend! Scott Weber, a 32-year-old real estate investor, picked up this funny little piece of land three years ago. It was in, to say the least, an odd place. To find it, drive to Treasure Island and turn south on W Gulf Boulevard, onto Sunset Beach. Go a few doors down from Caddy's Waterfront BBQ and Nick's Beach Bar, and look for the homes hugging the Gulf. Weber's 50 by 120-foot lot is not there. It's the ribbon of beach between the homes and the water - and beyond into the water. At high tide, more than half of it is submerged. Weber says a beach renourishment project in the spring may bring a large part of the lot back into view. But he's not sure how long that will last, which is why he's given up trying to build on it. So what do you do with a virtually worthless lot? It's zoned for single family residential, but the only thing that could be built on it is a dock. It's listed on county property records as "land submerged - no value." Its 1999 assessed taxable value is a mere $400. The yearly property taxes - $7.62. But Weber looked at that lot and didn't see sand and seawater. He saw gold. In neat little squares. His idea is to package the 1- inch "plots" with the deeds, maps and certificates - and yes, even the palm trees - and sell them as novelty items. This way, he reasons, people can go to their high school reunions and honestly say that they own a little beach property in Florida. Weber says he researched the area and found that, at one time, his lot was mostly dry. But that was before the Hurricane of 1926, which swept most of the sand away. So why not sell off little chunks and make a buck or two? Weber even has a charity angle. He says he's willing to give a portion of the proceeds to a charity. He's also trying to get celebrities to take ownership - to sort of class up the joint. "That way people can say they own a lot next to this famous person," he said. "It's a lot like the International Star Registry," he added, referring to one of several companies that charge about $50 to let people name a star after themselves. "But this," said Weber, "is actual property you can come and see." Although you may have to bend down a little and squint. Pinellas County Property Appraiser Jim Smith says Weber is using the land for what may be the only thing he can use it for. "I heard somebody in Alaska did this once, and I don't know how it turned out," Smith said. "I had our attorneys check into it, and we don't see anything wrong. "We're not going to go out and survey every little plot, and the deeds are going to cost money, but if he sold just 1 square foot . . . let's see, there are 144 square inches in a square foot, multiplied by 50 . . . "He could make $7,200 per square foot when it's all done. Who's going to pay $7,200 a square foot for that land? Nobody. But if you break it up and sell it as a novelty . . . he makes a lot of money and people can say they own beachfront property." And that, of course, is the whole idea. "The hard fact is that only a select few of us get to live on beachfront property," said Weber, who graduated from Seminole High School and attended St. Petersburg Junior College. "And to my knowledge, nobody has ever done anything like this before. "But we've only been marketing this since Thanksgiving, and I'm overwhelmed. There have been hundreds of inquiries from as far away as Michigan and New York." So what Weber is doing, in effect, is getting something out of nothing. "If it's submerged," Smith said, "you can't do anything with it. "Except maybe sell 1-inch-square pieces."